Allies & Circles of Support

An ally is a person who supports you. Most of us think of natural supports when we think of who might be an ally, but people who are paid can be allies too. Sometimes people who are paid support don't stay around as long as natural supports. Some are forced to move on because they found a different job more suited to meeting their needs, some paid support move on for other reasons. Some, even after they have left a position, may stay and become a natural support in your circle of support.

A circle of support is made up of people in your life who are supportive. The people in your circle can be people who are natural supports, like your friends and family. Some of the people in your circle of support are paid support, like a therapist, case manager or group home staff.

Some people who have a mental illness/psychiatric diagnosis feel they don't have anyone left in their circle of support. Some may feel like they have alienated everyone who might be a part of their circle. While this may be true for a few, for many it can be hard to remember who is a part of their life, especially when you are sitting there staring at a therapist or case manager who just sprung a, “It's time of your person-centered planning meeting. Do you have anyone you want to invite?” Actually, that question should never come at you out of the blue. You should have time to think things through.

Knowing who is an ally or who is in our circle of support can help us feel better about ourselves. We may find people who are supportive that we didn't realize were there. When we look, we might find people who we might like to become better friends with.

So how can you figure out who is an ally and in your circle of support?

There are a couple of things that can help you think things through.

1.            You can sit in a comfy (or uncomfy) chair and list everyone that you know, see regularly or who provide you support services.
2.            You can take a piece of paper around with you and write down the names of people you talk to, run into, get into a conversation with, or call; and do this for a couple of weeks.

There is a special piece of paper that can help you to realize who is in your circle of support. It is called a People Map. A People Map is a series of circles or ovals on a piece of paper. Your name goes in the center circle or oval.

Then when you take the people map around with you or as you fill it out at home you put people who are close to you in the circle closest to you.

People who you are not as close to go farther away from you on your people map.

Knowing who is and isn't close to you can be very important when you are thinking about who to invite to your person-centered planning meeting. In your meeting you want people there who are supportive of you and who will listen to you. If you aren't close to Ralph because he tells mean jokes about you, or if you aren't close to Shondra because she cuts you down all the time, Ralph and Shondra might be people you don't want to invite to your person-centered planning meeting.

When some people who have a mental illness/psychiatric diagnosis looked at the people on their people maps they felt they didn't have enough people who were natural supports on their people maps (they felt they didn't have enough friends). They then made it a part of their person-centered plan that they go more places where they could meet people.

One guy joined a baseball league
Another took some special art classes
Some joined art or writing classes
and other people did other things to make friends.

As they got to know other people better, some people became closer to them and became good friends. Some people moved out of their lives and didn't stay on their people map. Or some moved all the way out or off of the people map.

Ralph

If you would like to download a copy of a People Map, you can click here.

Whatever you choose to do, you want to take the time to get to know who in your life is supportive and who isn't.